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I know it’s good for me but it tastes like poop

May 26, 2011

People, I need some serious help here. Why do I keep picking protein powders that taste like sand?

I love a green smoothie with protein powder in it. That is a staple in my life. But lately… I haven’t been finishing all of my smoothies. Blasphemy, I know! It’s full of good ingredients and makes me feel good, but they’ve all been uninspiring lately. I’m sure it’s got everything to do with this:

I bet this powder has all kinds of fans. It’s dairy and soy free, no added sugars, has protein from three kinds of plants, looks full of good stuff on the label, but… no. I just can’t eat it anymore. It absolutely overpowers the flavors of whatever else I have in my smoothie, drowning out everything. The delicious oranges I put in there? Gone. Strawberries? Where? It tastes a little off, too; not like it’s spoiled, but it just isn’t as pleasant as everything else I put in there! This morning I made a big-ass smoothie with coconut milk yogurt, half a cooked sweet potato, pumpkin pie spices, an apple, a few baby carrots, psyllium, water, sorrel and this protein powder. Doesn’t that sound AMAZING? Well, it’s not. It tastes gross. And I know it ain’t the fruit and veggies’ fault.

Still, I can’t decide if it’s worse than this was:

I know this stuff was good for me. I FELT good when I drank it. But dang… it tastes like mud. For real. Everything I put it in tasted like dirt.

My all-time favorite protein powder has probably been this one:It’s pretty fuckin’ vanilla-y, but not in a way that tastes weird like the Life Time one. Instead of overpowering the other flavors, it creates a nice creamy background. One of my favorite smoothies in the world is (made to split with my boyfriend) two scoops of this blended smooth with about 2 cups of almond milk, a few dates and two handfuls of spinach, and then throw in 2 frozen bananas. Done! Instant vanilla milkshake! It really is so, so addictive. They’ve got an organic one, too! And chocolate! I think I’ll buy the choco one next, just to spice it up a bit. In my brain it’s basically the cheaper version of Sunwarrior Protein, which everyone gets retarded for but I’m not spending $50 on a container. Nope! My beloved NutriBiotic is $20/container, so for now I know where my food stamps are going.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Shoebox permalink
    May 29, 2011 4:05 am

    Protein: It taste like poop and it makes you fart.

    • May 29, 2011 10:03 pm

      that farting sound is just your digestive track singing to you!

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